News


Crowell Offices Plundered?

In an early morning raid, two caucasion males dressed as Japanese ninjas found their way into the Crowell offices. Police are still unclear as to the reason for the break-in, but security camera footage suggests they may have plundered the liquor cabinet for Butterscotch Schnapps. Neither Kim Raap, self-proclaimed Butterscotch Schnapps aficionado, nor the Anti-Japanese Ninja Defamation League (AJNDL) are taking the matter lightly, and are pressing authorities to investigate further. In an unrelated story later that day, Amber Banks’ 5-year-old son Jordan and Dan The Intern showed up blind stinking drunk.


Back